The Great Measure of Discipleship - Perception

The Great Measure of Discipleship

I have to say I absolutely loved this talk. It really makes you think about how you are judging others and the concept of perception – both from a spiritual and mortal view. I’d like to touch on a few points that he brought up in this talk.

The first is “Sometimes, instead of seeing another as a person to be served, we see them as a task to be accomplished.” This really is true and I am as guilty as the next person for thinking this. A lot of the time I have the attitude that I have to “deal” with people in my life. And really? Shouldn’t it be a privilege to be around fellow sons and daughters of the Most High Being? I’ve had this attitude a lot in my life. It’s mostly when I have to associate with people whose manners have irritated me and we tend not to get along. There is good in everyone – be happy to associate with them.

The next is, “Sometimes we see others not as an individual, but only as a member of some group.” This I think we are most guilty of when racial and religious differences are involved. We tend to stereotype people based on their beliefs, their skin color, or the way they live their lives. I’m in World Religions right now and it’s been a real eye opening experience to learn about both eastern and western religions, what they believe and why they believe it. It’s helped me obtain a more objective view on the world and that there is some truth in all religion. I think it would help all of us if we had a more objective view of the world. Maybe we wouldn’t put people in their own little groups and think that’s all they are.

The last point I would like to touch on are the stories he told of Jesus Christ and the women he met. He did not view them as sinners – but as daughters of God. We are so easy to forget this of each other. We are all spirit sons and daughters of God and we deserve to be treated as such. He loves us no matter what, so we should try to do the same for each other. I’m not saying you should be best friends with everyone, but give them the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know the details of their life and what they’re going through. We should see each other in a spiritual way. But remember, it's a choice. It's all in our perception.

Personal Triumph - New York City

A couple days ago I got an email from Brother Warnick informing us that we would find out if we had been accepted to go to the NY expedition by Thursday. So today... I have been anticipating it all day... checking my email every 10 minutes. Finally, after my religion class (which does not allow laptops) I pulled up my email and found this....

I got it! And I am soooo THRILLED! I've been having kind of a bad week and my birthday is this next weekend. And this email was either going to make or break my birthday weekend. This has been definitely the best birhtday present ever.

20 minute Observation and 5 New People

Bannack, Montana

So today on my way to Bannack, Montana, I rode in a van with 6 people who were in my class, but none of whom I had ever talked to before. So technically this should be considered a first impression. I basically just listened in the car and for the first little bit to gather first impressions of people. So heres what I thought...

Person #1... very helpful, friendly and nice. Seemed genuinely interested to get to know everyone in the car.

Person #2... same as the first person.

Person #3... a little self absorbed. Talked about wedding registry for 10 minutes.

Person #4... Loud and slightly obnoxious. Complains a lot about past teachers and classes she had been in.

Person #5... Not as abnoxious as Person #4, but more of a follower of them.

Person #6... Very quiet. Just tended to listen to the conversation.

It was very interesting and a great learning experience to sit and listen to these people. After I got past these first impressions, I learned a lot more about these people and a bit of their background. Knowing something more about someone can drastically change a perspective.

Stressed...

My life is busy. And I am not blaming anyone but me for that. But I don't consider it a problem honestly. I am most productive when I am stressed out. I stay focused longer and the impossible becomes possible. So right now. I am stressed. But it works for me. :)

Perception - Redirect your viewfinder...

Lately in class we have been talking a lot about perception and how we view situations differently. Our perception can be influenced by motives, change, stereotyping, personal experiences, attitudes, and backgrounds. I think the most important thing we can do for ourselves and for others to avoid situations where we might not agree on something is to consider the others viewpoint. So where are we looking in our viewfinder? Probably where we want. But if we change our perspective, we are able to see other situations more clearly and why someone feels the way they do. We may not (and probably don't) understand them completely, but the least we can do is try.

The Good - Color Test/ Roadtrip

This past weekend I decided to take a quick trip to Utah to visit my sister. Whenever I drive to Utah, Breanne goes with me and visits her parents for a couple days. A six hour drive is a long drive, but we stayed entertained trust me. I also asked Breanne to take the color test for fun to see what she was. Breanne's colors are White (18), Blue (10), Yellow (5), Red (3). My scores are Red (15), White (9), Yellow (7), Blue (4). But I really think it depends on the day....

So for class Sister McKenna asked us to do a social experiment over the weekend. So I had Breanne take this test, and then did some do's and don'ts for Breannes color, white. Breanne hates making decision, (and so do I for that matter). So it's always fun to see her squirm when I make her take the leadership role in making decisions (where we stop or what music we are listening to). One "Do" that I am working on with Breanne is to listen quieter, longer. We both need people to listen to us I know so I paid close attention to what she was saying and stayed quiet. I think she really appreciated it.

Overall it was a good weekend. Me and Bre always have a great time!

My Boy...

Brandon Oakley McDonald

This last weekend I drove down to Utah to see my sister and her family for a couple days. On Sunday, I went to go pick up Brandon from primary. When I found his classroom he was standing in the doorway with his back to me talking to his teacher, and this is what I heard.

Teacher: Brandon, where are you going?

Brandon: I'm going to go find Marissa.

Teacher: Whose Marissa?

Brandon: She's my girl.

Definitely a booster. I love this kid. He can make you feel better on the crappiest of days.

A Little Blue...

Today is a blue day. I'm not sure why, but it is. I don't mean to let myself, but sometimes I just get down about life. I think it's because I think too much. I worry too much about the future and what I am not doing (in stead of what I am doing). I've come to realize that these days are normal. We all have blue days every once in a while. Just as long as we get past them. My mom has always told me, "It's ok to sit on your pity pot as long as you flush afterwards."

The Not So Good - Increase Communication

Sisters - Me, Holly, and Jenny

I have set some goals to better my relationship with Holly. The main and most important I think is to increase communication.

I don't talk with my siblings very often. I wish I did, but they are all just so busy with their lives. I talk to Jenny the most often, but I hardly ever talk to Holly. I really would like to talk to her at least 3 times a week either through text or on the phone. I think this would really improve our relationship in a huge way.

The Good - Listening

So here's a report on "The Good" relationship.

I see Breanne every day, so there are all sorts of opportunities to build our relationship. One thing I have been trying to do lately is be a better listener. I feel like I dominate the conversation a lot when we hang out. But I'm practicing being a better listener.

Happiness, Your Heritage

For my talk that inspires me, I chose "Happiness, Your Heritage" by Dieter F Uchtdorf. Just reading the title makes me smile because it states something that is so true. We deserve to be happy as children of God. It is our divine right to live and be happy. We all deserve to be happy as does everyone around us. He says in his talk, "As we lift others, we rise a little higher ourselves." So what does this mean? It means, when you are in the service of your fellow being, you are only in the service of your God. As we serve others and love others, it will buoy up our own self.

President Lorenzo Snow said, "When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, and you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated."

Now this doesn't mean to out and look for people to fix. If you haven't figured this out by know, a lot of people don't like to be fixed, the often are just wanting a friend. So go out, forget yourself, and serve.

5 positives vs. 5 negatives

Today in class, we were discussing self perception and how we feel others perceive us. Someone mentioned that their mom used to make them say 5 nice things about someone when they were being mean to them. That made a memory click...

This last summer I worked for an insurance company that did workshops for schools. I had the opportunity to go observe one where the subject was bullying. I remember them saying that it takes 5 similar negative comments to make someone believe they are something they're really not.

The Comment: "You're Stupid"

1st response: "I'm not stupid you're stupid!"

2nd response: "I don't think I'm stupid..."

3rd response: "Am I stupid?"

4th response: "Maybe I am stupid."

5th response: "He's right, I am stupid"

And these kinds of comments stick with us for the rest of our lives. It's sad - but it does. It just goes to show how careful we need to be in our words to others. Be aware of what you are saying. Speak words of kindness and you will have a great impact on someone's life.

White... Black... White....

Have you ever had one of those days.... where you wake up and things are going GREAT! Then somewhere in the middle of the day, things go horribly wrong and you wonder, "What is UP with LIFE???" Then, something goes RIGHT, and you are yet again, feeling GREAT!

Well today was one of those days. I was doing great this morning... then somewhere in the middle of homework I got in a horrible irritable mood, then I decided.... Just go to the gym.... So me and Breanne took off to the gym. She let me vent to her about some things that have been going on lately. We got going exercising.... then.... ENDORPHINS! They really do make you happy. :) So I am determined to end this day good.

Check Your Competence

This is my mom Kerry and I

This was a very interesting activity... At first, I did it myself, but then I had my mom help evaluate my competence. We were the same of me on 2 out of 3 of the categories of communication. So heres what we came up with for each...

"Handling Conflict"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "Yeah.... you don't really have that wide of a repertoire of response styles...."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "Not really..."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Yeah... kinda... sometimes... Like different behaviors of throwing fits?"

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: "Most of the time.... well eventually I mean."

"Lending Support To Friends"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "You have a very wide range of response styles in this area."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "I would say yes."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Yes. You know which friend needs to have you behave a certain way in a certain situation."

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: "Yes you do."

"Expressing Feelings"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "Nope."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "Are you kidding me...."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Noooooo...."

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: *laughs* "Eventually!"

My mom wanted to clarify that she doesn't know how I behave at work or school. She only knows how I behave at home. We decided that the skill that needs the most work... like a full "What Not To Wear" MAKEOVER..... is "Expressing Feelings..." This is the one area that I feel leaves me the most vulnerable so I suck at it. Trust me. I do. I know. And I admit it.

When I get frustrated about things, in stead of expressing them in an effective way, I tend to let them get bottled up and eventually.... yeah.... they do come out.... but did you ever see pictures of Mt. St. Helens when it exploded in 1980? Yeah.... Like that!

I think the best way to improve this behavior is to not let the volcano explode. Explain things rationally and take time to think about them before, but don't chicken out when it's time to talk.

I'm like anyone else...

What do I feel about myself and what I want to become? Well I think I'm like anyone else. I have my good days and my dad. Honestly, in the past, there were more bad than good, but it's been getting better. So lets break this down...

How I feel about myself....

I think I'm a great person. I try hard to do what's right and I try to have a positive attitude. I love to smile at people and try to make their days a little bit brighter. But again. I have my good days and my bad.

This is me on a good day!

On my good days, I feel great about myself. I am excited about life and the possibilities it has in store for me. I feel ambitious and as if I can do anything. Nothing or nobody can get in my way. I am invincible. I love myself and everyone around me. I believe everyone has some good in them.

This is me on a bad day...

On my bad days, I'm feeling stressed and slightly put out about how my life is going. Generally I am frustrated with one or more aspect of my life. I think, Why am I even trying. Nothing ever goes my way. Everyone else seems to be having a great time, why not me?

Generally, at school, I am very stressed all the time about the work I have to get done. But I have made it a goal this semester to take time for myself and feel good about what I am doing. And I am determined to do that! So trust me, more and more good days are to come.

Now for what I feel about what I want to become...

For the last 2 years, I have been focused on Career. Career. Career. But I have felt the desire to shift lately. I feel the need to shift to a more spiritual goal of what I want to become. I figure once I get that focus going everything else will fall into place. But lets make a list of what I want to become.

- A better disciple of Christ

- A better friend

- A better daughter

- A better sister

- A better student

and eventually....

- A great wife

- A great mother

I think I'm well on my way in some parts of these goals, but I am still working towards it. I know I'm not perfect, but I am trying my best to the the absolute best version of myself. I figure there is no point in trying to be anyone else, because everyone else is taken. I want to be me.

New York City

Growing up in a small town out on a farm, a lot of people would have never guessed it was my dream to see New York City. It always seemed like such a magical place where anything could happen. As Alicia Keys says "New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, these lights will inspire you..." (This is my theme song.)

Anyways! At the beginning of my senior year, my mom asked if I wanted to go for my senior trip... and I asked her if she knew anything about me... Meaning Y.E.S!!!! We booked the tickets, hotel, and shows and we were already to go for the following April! I was so EXCITED! As time got closer, we realized we had booked the trip for the wrong week. We were planning on going for my spring break, but the school district had changed the dates to the week before. There was no way we were canceling the trip. The school would just have to do without me for two weeks. :) Too bad so sad.

We took off on a Sunday night and flew the Red Eye to JFK airport. Longest night of my life. The first day we took a bus tour around Manhattan. I could barely contain myself. It was even better than I had imagined! It was the culture diversity; the history; the lights; everything was just so exciting! We stayed at the Marriott Marqui right down in Time Square that week. We did the Regis and Kelly show one morning, NBC studios, 5th Avenue shopping, Macy's, Bloomingdales, Central Park, Broadway, the Met, Museum of Natural History, Ice cream and Serendipity, and we even stopped by the Plaza one day.

I was a brand new person by the end of the week, and I knew one day I would return. Since then, I have made it a goal to return there one day. I have made it a goal to work there and gain some first hand experience at the "Real American Dream". This was definitely an experience that changed my life.

Cabaret

One of my most meaningful and memorable experiences that I have had so far in my life took place which seems like a long time ago. In high school I was super involved in music. Every year our choral department would put on a show called "Cabaret." I performed all four years in the show and two of those years I helped plan and was in charge my senior year of high school. This is definitely an experience I will not forget because of the confidence I gained through performing and being up on stage. I love being up in front of people and sharing my musical talents. However, I don't like being the center of attention.

What I Love About Me!

(Me, my mom, and my sisters! Best friends forever!)

Family Oriented

(My sister Jenny and her two daughters - I was taking their family pictures for them)

Creative

(Slightly OCD about it - at least I am about my schedule)

Organized

(If you ever need someone to vent to... I am here)

Listener

(I am a genuinely outgoing person. I love to have fun and smile)

Friendly

(I know where I'm going and nothing will get in my way)

Driven

(This was mostly in hs. But if I had the chance to make a career out of it, I would!)

Musical/ Performer

(This goes along with driven. I set goals, and I will achieve them to my best ability.)

Goal Oriented

(I'd like to say I'm in the real Italy, but this is just the "Little Italy" in NYC. I love to travel and see new places!)

Adventurous

(What I love about me is that I am ME. I once heard that the only person you can be is yourself because everyone else is already taken. True story. I love being me.)

I am myself!