Wrap up...

This semester I have really noticed an improvement in both of the relationships that I decided to focus on - one good and one not so good.

The main reason why I chose Breanne for my "good" relationship is because this is her last semester and I honestly don't know when I will see her again after this semester. She is my best friend and is a big support in my life. I'm really going to miss spending time with her.

Now, you have to understand, I really do have a good relationship with my sister Holly. Just not great. It was really bad when we were younger. We used to fight all the time and we never got a long. I think another thing that kind of drives a wedge in between us is the fact that she doesn't go to church. She KNOWS the church is true, she just... well, hasn't made the smartest decisions in her life. She tells us all the time that she feels "stuck" and I don't think she realizes we would do anything for her to not feel that way. I really do feel as if our relationship has improved since I have been making a conscious effort, and I will continue to do so.

A good laugh and a break...

It's the end of the semester, and we're all a little on edge. Last night I was working on homework when I got a text from Breanne and this is how the conversation went...

Breanne: So... what r ya doin?

Me: Well, working on homework. What are you doin?

Breanne: I am sprawled on my bed throwing a tantrum... yes a tantrum. I need to get out. Want to do something?

I got in the "Rescue-the-friend-from-homework" mode and started making suggestions. We ended up taking a much needed break and 5 episodes of Big Bang Theory later, we were laughing ourselves silly.

I am grateful for friends in a time when de-stressing is necessary.

But I really shouldn't be...

You know, I really don't have a lot left for school. And it's nice. But surprisingly? I'm a little stressed right now... I think the issue is that I'm just sooooo ready to be done and take a break before the fresh start next semester. Which I am SO EXCITED FOR! I love the beginnings of semesters. New friends, new classes, and new experiences to come. So for now, I'm stressed, but not for long. :)

We ain't gonna live forevah...

This last weekend was one of the last REAL weekends that I could spend time with Breanne. She is graduating this semester and she is moving on with her life. This picture is a sample of what we did... We painted with lights! You turn off all the lights in the room and use glow sticks to trace the outlines of individuals. We're Charlie's Angels can't you tell??? Anyways. I'm going to miss her...

Phone Call...

Yesterday was one of the most awful days that I've had in a long time. By 6:00 I had already vented to my mother, Breanne, and my roommate Whitney. There are times I really need to talk to people but I feel like I'm just being a burden and annoyance to them. The day just continued to get worse and by 10, I REALLY needed to talk to someone. The person I could think of? My sister Holly. Despite our differences we have always been able to listen to each other and I knew I could depend on her. So I called her and we talked for about 45 minutes. It was so helpful to have her there just to listen to me. I love my sister and everything she does for me. We will be friends forever.

Emotions...

Looking back on the past 3 days... I've had a very WIDE range of emotions. So lets go through the days...

Sunday... It started out as a good day. I got up and got ready for church, but then started to not feel very well towards the end. I ended up coming home and laying on the couch for a while. I was feeling kind of sick and disgusted at the same time because I didn't want to get sick! That afternoon I took a 3 hour nap and afterwards didn't feel any better because I had slept half the day away... That evening was better. I got out and went for a walk then drove around listening to Christmas music and looking at lights.

Monday... it was a great day. I spent time with some great friends and a group in one of my classes gave a very good presentation. Feeling great. Went home and worked on homework then went to the gym. I always feel great after going to the gym. I guess I let those endorphins really get to me... Monday evening my roommate informed me that Jamba Juice was selling smoothies for $1! Score! So we went. Ended up being a good day.

Then came Tuesday.... I swear everything that could have possibly went wrong that day did. I went through a whole RANGE of emotions including disappointment, frustration, anger, relief, some more frustration, and sadness. I forewent the gym that evening.... and went to dinner at Olive Garden instead with a couple friends. The complete opposite. But I had a great time! I talked to my mom on the phone on the way home and she assured me that I had hit rock bottom and nothing else could possibly go wrong that day... she was sure wrong... something else happened. Sorry no details... but lets just say I was past rock bottom. So I called my sister Holly and talked to her about my day because I felt that everyone else had already gotten an earful. She was such a good listener and cheered me up. :)

All I have to say is that we are all human. We all experience emotion. And we can expect it on a daily basis.

Love Languages

I wasn't surprised at the results I got for the Love Languages test in class. My Love Language ranked highest to lowest with the scores is, Quality Time (10), Words of Affirmation (6), Physical Touch (5), Receiving Gifts (4), Acts of Service (4).

Spending quality time with someone is something that is really important to me. I feel that the foundation of any good relationship is built on knowing information about the other person and you can only truthfully know that information by spending time with them, talking and getting to know them.

My second Love Language is words of affirmation. Compliments are always nice. It shows that you are noticing the good things about the other person. Although, I feel words are empty when the actions to match what the person is saying.

Diligence.

Doctrine and Covenants 103: 36 - "All victory and glory is brought to pass unto you through your diligence, faithfulness, and prayers of faith."

Life is much like a baby chick breaking out of it's shell. We must work hard through our trials and it will only make us stronger to do so. Be diligent in all you do and don't give up.

Live long and prosper...

(Ok so not exactly like Spock...)

Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 - "And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more."

From this scripture I get that we will be very prosperous if we express thankfulness unto the lord. If you think about it, everything in the gospel kind of goes hand in hand. If we are thankful, then humble, then submissive, and will become prosperous. But we must be very careful to not fall into the pride cycle.

What we see versus what He sees

Doctrine and Covenants 58: 3 - "Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation."

I've probably talked about this before, but it's something that I have to remind myself a lot that He has the whole design, and I can only see the temporary picture. I know He knows what is best and that everything will turn out how it's supposed to in the end.

Music

Doctrine and Covenants 25:12 - "For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads."

I love singing and especially in church. For me it's my way of expressing my testimony. Music for me brings such an unexplainable spirit in a way that can't be brought any other way. My soul delighteth in the song of the heart.

He died of us...

3 Nephi 27:14 - "And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil-"

I love this scripture. It's just a reminder to me that we need to work both through our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ to return unto them. It isn't just one or the other. We must work through the Father to draw nearer unto Christ. Both relationships are as equally important.

Prioritize

3 Nephi 13: 33 - "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

One thing I've learned in my life is that if I put the most important things first such as scripture study, prayers, and church, everything else will fall into place and you'll be able to get everything else done.

Class Presentation... oh the irony....

Well, I just wanted to touch on our presentation last Friday and how I thought it went.

First of all I want to say how ironic I thought that our presentation was on technology, and technology was failing us! But luckily by the end we got it worked out and everything went ok.

Overall I thought our presentation went splendidly. I was worried after the presentation center but the class interaction helped a lot.

Me and My Heavenly Father

I've avoided this assignment for a while, just because it's something that is very personal to me, and something I have never been sure about.

I have doubts about myself, as I'm sure a lot of people do about themselves. I've been to rock bottom and back again. But there is one thing I do know. I, am a Daughter of God. And he loves me and cares about me. He knows what's best for me and wants me to achieve my potential here on earth. He also knows that potential is greater than I think it is. He is my greatest cheerleader. He is the ultimate provider. He has given me a beautiful world to live in and an amazing family to go through and experience life with. He has provided me with guidance and great blessings thus far in my life. We talk daily. Usually in the evenings. I share both my worries and joys about life with Him and he offers comfort, guidance, and answers to the questions I have about my life. I thank Him for all the wonderful things in my life. He speaks to me as I read the scriptures daily and gives me insights on how I can be improving myself personally.

I am a Daughter of God.

Conflict - It isn't worth it...

I really enjoyed yesterday's class listening to the different conflicts people have dealt with in the last couple days. It just reaffirmed something in my mind - most arguments aren't worth the breath. That's why I avoid them so often. It may feel good in the moment, but oftentimes you regret it for years to come. When I get into stupid arguments, I replay them in my mind over and over again regretting much of what I said. So basically, what's the point of conflict? A lot of the time nothing is accomplished by it.

What Heavenly Father Loves About Me

One of the things that Heavenly Father Loves about me is that I'm a caring person. I care about the people that are close to me and do all that I can to show them that. I may come off as cold and distant sometimes, but underneath I really do care and want what's best for those around me.

Color Code Profile

Reds are the power wielders of the world. Power is not good and it is not bad, it just is. It has to do with movement, (remember: moving from A to B). Power sometimes carries a negative connotation but where positive characteristics of Reds are concerned, it drives them to high levels of productivity and efficiency. Reds boldly move forward with logic, vision and determination. These qualities make them natural born leaders, as they make things happen by sheer force of will. From a Red perspective, emotion has little to do with accomplishing a task.

Red Strengths Reds are visionary and seem to have insight into the future. Keeping their eyes on the future averts them from the mundane day-to-day. In dealing with day-to-day circumstances, they make swift decisions and their independent nature doesn’t require someone to hover over them to see them through. Reds can be difficult to work with if they don’t get their way. Their behavior may appear negative in their efforts to get things their way. However, before you jump to conclusions, look past the behavior to what is driving it. It may be an enormous ego problem that causes a complete intolerance of others’ ideas. On the other hand, it is possible they are trying to achieve an important goal within the timeframe previously agreed to by the team.

Red Limitations Just like all the colors, Reds have challenging limitations. Let’s start out by saying they are not subtle. You know exactly where they stand and how they feel about things. Reds are verbal; however, what they say often seems hostile due to their tactless manner. Their insensitivity combined with a marked lack of subtlety causes many to wince at what comes out of their mouths. They can also be very demanding. Red bosses will ask you to work long hours because they do. They expect you to get the job done to make them look good. It doesn’t matter whether you have limitations or not—they expect you to make up for them. This is how they would deal with it. Overall, Reds lack compassion. If they develop the gift of compassion, Reds are hard to beat. When they add this dimension, they are truly very capable people.

Conflict Example

I haven't observed a conflict in the last couple days. I think I was just too busy. But I did read about Constructive Conflict Skills. Like I've mentioned before, I've dealt with a lot of conflict in my life. When I read through the skills I recognized a lot of the things I've learned through personal experience. One that I've really tried is to consider the other's point of view. I think this has really helped me see both sides of things and take a more objective approach to the problems that I encounter. I'm not saying this is how I ALWAYS am. I just try to be this way.