Refocus...

I think personally I get too wound up in life if I'm not careful. I get too busy with the unimportant and forget what matters most. Last night I was reading a general conference talk given this last October by President Uchtdorf. He talked about not getting caught up in the thick of life and the importance of remembering what matters most. He said,

"As we evaluate our own lives with a willing mind, we will see where we have drifted from the more excellent way. The eyes of our understanding will be opened, and we will recognize what needs to be done to purify our hear and refocus our life."

It's time for me to refocus and stay on target.

Just Walk Away...

Yesterday in class we talked about the different ways that we manage conflict. I was in the avoiders group. My reasoning for being an avoider most of the time is that most argument's aren't worth the breath. For example - over the break we had family pictures taken. And me and my mom were not happy about how they turned out for various reasons. We kept talking about what went wrong and why we thought they didn't do a good job at all. Well, my sister Jenny was right there and I said something in particular and she just snapped at me and bit my head off about it. I said, "Fine, I'll just shut up." And then got up and left. It wasn't worth the argument. I was still mad about it, but it wasn't worth the breath to make it into a huge fight. Sometimes it just best to avoid.

Slipping

I have to admit I've been letting it slip with Holly lately. It's just so hard because our lives are so busy and we live so far away from each other. The break was good though. We were able to spend some time together but not as much as we would have liked. It's hard to strengthen a relationship with someone when you can see yourself moving in a completely different direction from them...

In Common...

I don't know if I mentioned before but me and Breanne used to live together... I think I did. Remember that happen chance thingie? Anyways. I miss having my friend in the room next to mine. One thing that we used to do together is watch the Big Bang Theory. It's a tv show on CBS. It's so funny! I think I like it particularly because you have to think to keep up with the dialogue. Anyways. We don't do that as much as we used to. Over Thanksgiving break I got a text from Breanne saying she'd bought Big Bang Theory season 3 for me! I was so excited! I have such a great friend who thinks of me when Black Friday shopping at 3 in the morning.

Gap

No, not that kind of gap. I'm talking right now about a "generation gap."

I've never felt this way until now with me and my family. There is obviously a generation gap between me and my parents... but now I am realizing there has become a significant one between me and my sibling. I am at a completely different place in my life than them. Before we start talking about this you really should understand that I am in no way implying that I love my family less... I've just come to realize a few important things.

First of all, since there is a 7 year age difference between me and my closest sibling, Holly, I feel that I've had to grow up a lot faster than those of whom are my own age. I learned to have adult conversations at a very young age and therefore that's why I think I get along with older people better. Therefore I feel kind of stuck in the middle.

Two, I feel like I missed out then, and now I'm missing out now. When I was younger, I was never "old enough" to do the things my older brothers and sisters were doing. And now that I am well old enough... they all have grown out of it and have kids now. Our world revolved around them. Again, not a bad thing. Just... different. For example when we go to the Gateway Mall in SLC it doesn't necessarily mean shopping, it means the Children's Museum for 2 1/2 hours. I was able to sneak out for about 45 minutes with my mom to get some new jeans... but we had to hurry back because the kids were all getting hungry and cranky...

Three, they don't seem excited and enthusiastic about change and going out to see the world anymore. They are all settling. In Utah, mind you. Both my sisters and one of my brothers already live here. Riley was the last hold out but now he's moving to Ogden area to manage a Kneaders Bakery and Cafe. He said he's done with his adventure in Las Vegas and ready to settle in a more "domestic" area. Me? Well... it's in my plans to be moving back to NYC sometime in the near future. Guess what everyones responses were.... Why would you want to move away from your family??? Which I understand. They are all settling. They are all 28 and older. Me..... I'm 21. Just starting out. They've almost made me feel guilty for having this desire. I've thought about it a lot lately and you know? I think I'd like to get married sometime soon and start a family, but I really don't see it in the cards for me anytime soon. So my question is why sit around waiting and not be progressing and out experiencing life. I think they kind of expect me to stick around waiting on my front porch for prince charming to come along. Not gonna happen.

Ok, I'm done. It's the gap. It's always been there, just not as prominent. And it will continue to be there in my life until ALL of our kids are out of the house. So I'll deal with it. Because I love my family... and I have no choice.... :)

Sisters and Pizza

Well I made it to Utah safely. I beat the snowstorm so fast that I decided to stop in Ogden where my family were all at my cousin's wedding reception. So I decided to stop. Luckily I had a dress, heels, and tights handy so I was able to quickly change in the bathroom. I was so excited to see everyone and spent a lot of the reception hanging out with my sisters Holly and Jenny. Jenny ended up sending her kids home early with her husband Jason and after the reception just us sisters went out for pizza. (Mind you at about 10:00 pm) We had so much fun. I don't remember the last time just the three of us were able to sit down and spend time together without kids. I really wished I could spend more time with these girls. I love my sisters dearly and want to be closer to them. This was the start to an "improve the relationship" week with both of them, but especially Holly.

My Great Thanksgiving...

If I were to write a list of everything I was thankful for, it would be infinite. I love this time of year. It's a great time set aside to be able to reflect and appreciate everything we have been blessed with in life. A couple years ago I was home on break with all my family at Thanksgiving, and I found this scripture. It has become my official Thanksgiving time scripture.

Alma 26: 35-37

35 Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all ^apower, ^ball wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a ^cmerciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

36 Now if this is ^aboasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea, blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a ^bbranch of the tree of Israel, and has been ^clost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God, who has been mindful of us, ^dwanderers in a strange land.

37 Now my brethren, we see that God is ^amindful of every ^bpeople, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

There are so many things we should be grateful for in this life, but especially we need to be grateful for and remember our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They watch over and bless us daily with numerous wonderful things. We need to remember that he knows each one of us and is mindful of our needs. (I really need reminding of this a lot of the time.) He understands EVERYTHING and we have reason to rejoice in him and be grateful.

I have especially been grateful in this last year as far as my career and schooling goes. I have managed a 3.8 gpa the last two semesters, I have been blessed with a wonderful job on campus, I had a spectacular internship this last summer where I made tons of friends and learned a lot, I was able to go to NYC and visit companies and make contacts, and I am currently up for an internship position back there with the LDS Public Affairs office. (Lets pray I get it.) These honestly, are small compared to everything else I and my family have been blessed with this last year. As I said before and I'll say again... big changes are to come. Come what may and love it. Be grateful. He know's what's best and everything will turn out how it's supposed to.