Gap

No, not that kind of gap. I'm talking right now about a "generation gap."

I've never felt this way until now with me and my family. There is obviously a generation gap between me and my parents... but now I am realizing there has become a significant one between me and my sibling. I am at a completely different place in my life than them. Before we start talking about this you really should understand that I am in no way implying that I love my family less... I've just come to realize a few important things.

First of all, since there is a 7 year age difference between me and my closest sibling, Holly, I feel that I've had to grow up a lot faster than those of whom are my own age. I learned to have adult conversations at a very young age and therefore that's why I think I get along with older people better. Therefore I feel kind of stuck in the middle.

Two, I feel like I missed out then, and now I'm missing out now. When I was younger, I was never "old enough" to do the things my older brothers and sisters were doing. And now that I am well old enough... they all have grown out of it and have kids now. Our world revolved around them. Again, not a bad thing. Just... different. For example when we go to the Gateway Mall in SLC it doesn't necessarily mean shopping, it means the Children's Museum for 2 1/2 hours. I was able to sneak out for about 45 minutes with my mom to get some new jeans... but we had to hurry back because the kids were all getting hungry and cranky...

Three, they don't seem excited and enthusiastic about change and going out to see the world anymore. They are all settling. In Utah, mind you. Both my sisters and one of my brothers already live here. Riley was the last hold out but now he's moving to Ogden area to manage a Kneaders Bakery and Cafe. He said he's done with his adventure in Las Vegas and ready to settle in a more "domestic" area. Me? Well... it's in my plans to be moving back to NYC sometime in the near future. Guess what everyones responses were.... Why would you want to move away from your family??? Which I understand. They are all settling. They are all 28 and older. Me..... I'm 21. Just starting out. They've almost made me feel guilty for having this desire. I've thought about it a lot lately and you know? I think I'd like to get married sometime soon and start a family, but I really don't see it in the cards for me anytime soon. So my question is why sit around waiting and not be progressing and out experiencing life. I think they kind of expect me to stick around waiting on my front porch for prince charming to come along. Not gonna happen.

Ok, I'm done. It's the gap. It's always been there, just not as prominent. And it will continue to be there in my life until ALL of our kids are out of the house. So I'll deal with it. Because I love my family... and I have no choice.... :)