Personal Success and Realization...

(This post is going to be a combination of several things... but please bear with me)

But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.

My parents came into town last night and after we went to dinner. My dad went back to their hotel and I was able to spend some time with my mom. She did the typical mom thing and took me to the store to get groceries and some Christmas decorations for my pathetically decorated tree. She then took me up and dropped me off on campus so I could work on homework until the buildings closed. We got to talking on the way up about trials people have gone through in their lives. I have to tell you now, my mom has seen me through a lot over the years. I've dealt with a lot of conflict in my life and have been hurt by a lot of people I thought I could trust. My mom has seen me through it all. She's cried with me. She's let me yell when frustrated. But we both came to a realization last night. We are grateful for our trials. And because we have stuck with the Lord and trusted in him, we have become better people and have learned how to handle conflict better.

My mom reminded me last night that I am in a really good place in my life right now. And it's completely true I realized. Usually during each semester I am in conflict with one roommate or the other. I'm usually angry and frustrated and really wound up about life in general. But I've learned, it doesn't hurt anything for me to just stay out of it. I feel like I'm a well liked person and I have a lot of friends. And that makes me feel great about myself! I've learned to cool it and not get so wound up about school. Last Winter was the worst.... you could ask anyone. But this semester I am just as busy, or even more, and I am having a great time. I've taken a chill pill so to speak.

This class has been such a help in making me realize what kind of person I am and what my needs are in order to be happy. My first color is red, and my secondary is white. And I think I'm beginning to find a good balance between the two. I have no problem confronting people about problems. I'm confident when I speak can keep a clear head. But at the same time, I really hate conflict. In my experience. NO GOOD COMES FROM IT!!!! Trust me on that. That's where my white comes into play. I really do treasure a peaceful life. While I can stand up for myself and argue a point, I'd rather not because I know it really won't do anyone any good.

So let me revert back to the scripture... "But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction."

If I had to pick one important lesson that I've learned in my life so far, it would be this. Throughout everything I've been through in the last four years, I've put my trust in him, and my mom for that matter, and have kept with the church. Now, I'm not saying I've been perfect throughout everything. I have soooooo not been. I've made so many mistakes, but what's important is that I've learned from them. But as I look back over this last year especially, I've been so blessed in my life. And I know with out a doubt that's because of how I reacted to the trials in my life. I am grateful for my trials.

These lights will inspire you...

I've always wanted to move to NYC. For the last year that has been my goal. Do all I can to get to this amazing city. But lately, I haven't been feelin' it much. I feel like there's something else I should be doing. But I don't know quite yet. I started getting this after I was accepted to the New York trip. So I figured that I'd go, work hard to get everything I could out of the experience, and then evaluate how I felt after the fact. I'm still not feeling it. And I don't know what to do. Cause that's what I've worked for these past 2 years, and that's where I'm heading. It's not a bad thing. I just realized I'd be completely on my own in NYC. Which would be fine, but I'd miss my family dearly. And NYC is a work hard city. Which again, not bad. But I don't want to work Saturdays. I'm a 9-5 type of girl and don't want to worry about things on the weekend. That's what I liked so much about my job/internship this summer. I worked during the week, the evenings and weekends I didn't even have to think about work projects. So my solution? Come what may - and love the heck out of it!

Way Back When, Then, and Now

For my last meaningful experience, I'd like to include one that has been spread over a lifetime. And that is with my siblings. In my patriarchal blessing, it tells me that I have special siblings of whom I love dearly. I am told to cherish them and the experiences I have with them. I have to tell you, it's true and I have. I could not ask for four better best friends. I don't think they know how much I love and appreciate the examples that each of them set for me. I don't think they realize that, as the youngest, how much I look up to each and every one of them. My experience here in this life with them is definitely the most meaningful. So here are a few pictures and I'll share memories that go with each picture.

Way Back When

I am the youngest of the 5. The way youngest. There is a 7 year gap between me and Holly. When we were all home, I remember often we would go on short family trips to Seattle for the weekend or out to dinner at the local mexican restaurant. In this particular picture we are headed out to Tequilas and my mom wanted to get a quick shot of us.

Then

This has to be one of my most favorite family trips. When I was 12, we all went to Hawaii for a week. It had to be the best trip EVER! You can just tell how much we love each other.

Now (Well... a year ago)

This picture is a testimony of how much we love each other and how we are there for the important moments in life. Holly got married a year ago August. We were all able to go and pitch in and help. It was such a beautiful wedding and we all had so much fun.

I love my family so much. I'd be around them all the time if I could. This past weekend was my birthday and I went down to Utah to spend it with my family. Everyone was there. I don't think that's happened since I turned probably 6 years old. I love them and appreciate all they do. They are my #1 meaningful experience.

New York City

Growing up in a small town out on a farm, a lot of people would have never guessed it was my dream to see New York City. It always seemed like such a magical place where anything could happen. As Alicia Keys says "New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, these lights will inspire you..." (This is my theme song.)

Anyways! At the beginning of my senior year, my mom asked if I wanted to go for my senior trip... and I asked her if she knew anything about me... Meaning Y.E.S!!!! We booked the tickets, hotel, and shows and we were already to go for the following April! I was so EXCITED! As time got closer, we realized we had booked the trip for the wrong week. We were planning on going for my spring break, but the school district had changed the dates to the week before. There was no way we were canceling the trip. The school would just have to do without me for two weeks. :) Too bad so sad.

We took off on a Sunday night and flew the Red Eye to JFK airport. Longest night of my life. The first day we took a bus tour around Manhattan. I could barely contain myself. It was even better than I had imagined! It was the culture diversity; the history; the lights; everything was just so exciting! We stayed at the Marriott Marqui right down in Time Square that week. We did the Regis and Kelly show one morning, NBC studios, 5th Avenue shopping, Macy's, Bloomingdales, Central Park, Broadway, the Met, Museum of Natural History, Ice cream and Serendipity, and we even stopped by the Plaza one day.

I was a brand new person by the end of the week, and I knew one day I would return. Since then, I have made it a goal to return there one day. I have made it a goal to work there and gain some first hand experience at the "Real American Dream". This was definitely an experience that changed my life.

Cabaret

One of my most meaningful and memorable experiences that I have had so far in my life took place which seems like a long time ago. In high school I was super involved in music. Every year our choral department would put on a show called "Cabaret." I performed all four years in the show and two of those years I helped plan and was in charge my senior year of high school. This is definitely an experience I will not forget because of the confidence I gained through performing and being up on stage. I love being up in front of people and sharing my musical talents. However, I don't like being the center of attention.