Check Your Competence

This is my mom Kerry and I

This was a very interesting activity... At first, I did it myself, but then I had my mom help evaluate my competence. We were the same of me on 2 out of 3 of the categories of communication. So heres what we came up with for each...

"Handling Conflict"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "Yeah.... you don't really have that wide of a repertoire of response styles...."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "Not really..."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Yeah... kinda... sometimes... Like different behaviors of throwing fits?"

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: "Most of the time.... well eventually I mean."

"Lending Support To Friends"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "You have a very wide range of response styles in this area."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "I would say yes."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Yes. You know which friend needs to have you behave a certain way in a certain situation."

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: "Yes you do."

"Expressing Feelings"

a. Do you have a wide repertoire of response styles in this situation, or do you always respond in the same way?

Mom: "Nope."

b. Are you able to choose the most effective way of behaving for the situation at hand?

Mom: "Are you kidding me...."

c. Are you skillful at performing behaviors?

Mom: "Noooooo...."

d. Do you communicate in a way that leaves others satisfied?

Mom: *laughs* "Eventually!"

My mom wanted to clarify that she doesn't know how I behave at work or school. She only knows how I behave at home. We decided that the skill that needs the most work... like a full "What Not To Wear" MAKEOVER..... is "Expressing Feelings..." This is the one area that I feel leaves me the most vulnerable so I suck at it. Trust me. I do. I know. And I admit it.

When I get frustrated about things, in stead of expressing them in an effective way, I tend to let them get bottled up and eventually.... yeah.... they do come out.... but did you ever see pictures of Mt. St. Helens when it exploded in 1980? Yeah.... Like that!

I think the best way to improve this behavior is to not let the volcano explode. Explain things rationally and take time to think about them before, but don't chicken out when it's time to talk.