The Shenpa Syndrome...

Shenpa: to get hooked, attached, stuck

This semester I'm taking World Religions. And one principle we've been really focusing on is that of Meditation and peace of mind. In reading an article the other week, we learned about Shenpa. Shenpa is a Tibetan word meaning "attachment". And I think that's a huge part of getting offended. We get hung up on something someone says and blow it all out of proportion a lot of the time. The truth is, we have the complete choice of whether or not we are "Shenpaed" to something someone says or does. You CAN choose. And honestly? Heavenly Father allows these things to happen so we can learn to control our emotions and become better disciples of Christ. Our whole purpose here on earth is to become like Him. I'm sure Christ never allowed himself to get hung up on something offensive that was said to him. He chose to disregard these kinds of matters as unimportant and instead chose to see the good in that person. So in conclusion... don't get "shenpaed".

Below is an excerpt from Pema Chodron - a tibetan teacher:

This is a teaching on a Tibetan word: shenpa. The usual translation of the word shenpa is attachment. If you were to look it up in a Tibetan dictionary, you would find that the definition was attachment. But the word "attachment" absolutely doesn't get at what it is. Dzigar Kongtrul said not to use that translation because it's incomplete, and it doesn't touch the magnitude of shenpa and the effect that it has on us.

If I were translating shenpa it would be very hard to find a word, but I'm going to give you a few. One word might be hooked. How we get hooked.

Supporter of Bad Habits

One thing I can always count on Breanne for, is to be "The Supporter of my Bad Habits". Sound crazy? Well the bad habit is..... ICE CREAM! It's nice to have a friend who doesn't scold you for getting ice cream once a week. So this was our experience tonight.... Me and Breanne were headed to the movie at the Holiday theatre... but when we got there we found out the movie we wanted to go to wasn't there... but at the drive in! So my next words.... "Ice Cream?" Her? "YES!" So without question we we pulled into Dairy Queen 5 minutes later... then a thought came to my mind. Lets go to Craigos and get a Cookie monster! A DELICIOUS soft baked cookie in a pie pan covered with ice cream, whipping cream, chocolate and carmel syrup. Ugh... this one time we agreed... this was a bad decision.... We had stomach aches afterward..... Not just from the overindulgence of sugar, but from the laughing. We always laugh so hard. We will be friends forever. Supporters of each others bad habits.

Stubborn... Well you know...

I learned something today about myself in class... I am terrible at being uncooperative when asked to do so. Sister McKenna pulled me aside before class and asked me to be uncooperative during the group activity. Just be a jerk basically. I couldn't... I think I said one thing and they just looked at me like they couldn't believe I just said that. Yeah... I'm a compliant person - a people pleaser! Yes I can be stubborn... but on my own terms.

Letting it go...

I really appreciated the thoughts that Sister McKenna shared in class the other day. It made me think back on my own life and the struggles I've had. For the most part I've been able to let them go. I won't mention specifics, but lets just say I've been to hell and back. I've been beaten and kicked and seen the bottom of the well. It's taken years to get to the point where I am happy and confident. All these experiences have been for my good. I am a much better, stronger, happier person than I was before. I've just had to let it go. Like a balloon in the sky... let it go and expect to never think of it again.

Sisters forever...

This weekend I got to spend some good quality time with Holly. On Saturday before we went out for my birthday, we got ready together. I kind of felt 8 years old again... It was so much fun though. We did each others hair and helped each other get ready to go out. We were able to talk and listen to each other and what had been going on in life. Sisters forever...

The Birthday

Alright, I'll admit... I'm getting older. This last Saturday I turned the big Two One. And I don't know how I feel about it. I'm glad to be getting older, but with such comes more responsibility. A woo... hoo.... It was a bitter sweet thing.

But one good thing, I had my whole family there. They all were able to come to celebrate this special event with me. And I really appreciate that and feel very loved.

Way Back When, Then, and Now

For my last meaningful experience, I'd like to include one that has been spread over a lifetime. And that is with my siblings. In my patriarchal blessing, it tells me that I have special siblings of whom I love dearly. I am told to cherish them and the experiences I have with them. I have to tell you, it's true and I have. I could not ask for four better best friends. I don't think they know how much I love and appreciate the examples that each of them set for me. I don't think they realize that, as the youngest, how much I look up to each and every one of them. My experience here in this life with them is definitely the most meaningful. So here are a few pictures and I'll share memories that go with each picture.

Way Back When

I am the youngest of the 5. The way youngest. There is a 7 year gap between me and Holly. When we were all home, I remember often we would go on short family trips to Seattle for the weekend or out to dinner at the local mexican restaurant. In this particular picture we are headed out to Tequilas and my mom wanted to get a quick shot of us.

Then

This has to be one of my most favorite family trips. When I was 12, we all went to Hawaii for a week. It had to be the best trip EVER! You can just tell how much we love each other.

Now (Well... a year ago)

This picture is a testimony of how much we love each other and how we are there for the important moments in life. Holly got married a year ago August. We were all able to go and pitch in and help. It was such a beautiful wedding and we all had so much fun.

I love my family so much. I'd be around them all the time if I could. This past weekend was my birthday and I went down to Utah to spend it with my family. Everyone was there. I don't think that's happened since I turned probably 6 years old. I love them and appreciate all they do. They are my #1 meaningful experience.